GI JOE:

This post is to make up for Wednesday. Tomorrow I'll post something of a treat that'll make up for yesterday and then Monday we shall continue onwards hopefully.
GI JOE:

Oh Boy, Where do I even start?

Let us try the easy stuff. That is to say the few things this movie does that works. The look. I will admit, the characters look right. Including Cobra Commander.

There are two characters who were done pitch perfectly through out the entire movie, and that was Destro and Snake eyes. This has a lot of do with the fact that they both have competent actors playing them. More so you have Snake eyes getting the best fights in the movie. And you have Destro who is the only character who feels like he knows what it is his plan is exactly.

GI JOE suffers from a problem that I refer to as JOE logic. These are things that don't make sense in the real world but make perfect sense for GIJOE logic. GI JOE does in fact believe in character development. what?! GASP! it's just really bad at it. The best example is Cobra commander. I say best in the sense that he actually has a semi believable story arc. It's not by any means good or well thought out, but its there. It feels more like the first story idea you came up with as a kid to explain these characters.
Worst is Scarlet who for no reason of logical or discernible mind skills are able to explain. Honestly, you will see her arc(which involves the not horribly acted Ripcord) and come out going Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
In the middle falls Duke/Baroness. Its obvious this section was written by someone who wrote for soap operas(no wait, that applies to the whole movie) and with some more development and some sharper dialogue this could have been the highlight of the movie(and a point to draw in both male and female audiences) but alas the producers apparently felt it was better to serve the audience nothing than to give them something of value.

One of the best aspects of the movie is the Tech. It actually feels like they were trying to ground this movie in the not so distant future and grounding the movie with extreme versions of technology we have today. Sure almost all of it comes out of nowhere, but in 5-10 years from now, most of it would be possible. The other thing to point out is that this tech is all obviously designed to sell toys. But if you dare try to complain about a movie called GIJOE trying to sell toys, you went to see the wrong movie.
The accelerator suits while depicted as horrific robotic monstrosities in the trailers, are kind of nifty albeit they would piss you off in any larger dose. I'm serious, two minutes more of them would have been too much and well that would be bad.

So lets talk movie stuff. I can honestly say the director can direct action but not drama. Which isn't his fault, that has been his choice of movies thus far. Sure he gave Brennan Fraser a cameo, meh. He actually works in that regard.
The effects team wasn't bad. From a technical stand point, there weren't any obvious flaws in the work. Which is saying something coughtransformrs2:roflcoptercough.
The writers need to not do this again. They were really bad. And I think part of this has to do with too much studio involvement and too much of the system. And I am here to tell you this is a system film. Hollywood has been pushing these small piles of action garbage out for years and if you keep giving them your money for them, they will continue. This isn't a good thing. My motto(if I started having a motto) is that we should have half as many movies made a year and double the quality for each film. if you do that, we will end up with more Up's, More Drag Me To Hells. and more District 9s. The great films of 2009.
So my advice, if someone you know mistakenly buys the film, watch it with them. If it shows up on your HBO, watch it there. But by all means avoid paying to see this at all costs. Or at least avoid DIRECTLY paying for this movie. Give your money to the movies that deserve it like the three I just mentioned. They are worth it. Or the upcomming Avatar.