A review in a sentence. Racist piece of crap, but the explosions are cool.
....Second sentence, Jetfire kicks ass.
Alright so I should probally explain and quallify those statements.
The first thing I should warn is that This, plus Up, plus Gran Torino resulted in my new found theorm that old people are once again(?) cool. Jetfire gets almost all of the good lines and despite bein' a horrible stereotype, complete with cane and beard(yeah somehow the robot has a beard) he's most certainly the coolest character in the film.
Why it's racist you ask? Skid and mudflap. youtube some footage. Any line of dialogue is horrible and sterotyping in addition to that one of them has a gold tooth. there is a character in this meat shop(owned by the Sector seven agent from the first film and his mother) and the worker is black, 40s-50s and has horrible buck teeth, that are clearly fake, and a line about him working for new teeth. Shia's latino roomate from college spends most of the movie just screaming like a woman. This is one of the few movies where nearly every supporting character of a non-white ethnicity is supposed to be comic relief and worse isn't even that funny.
I'm not going to even talk much about the plot, not that theres much to be spoiled, but because it is so incoherent and illogical that after nearly every plot point, they expect you to basicly forget about it because if you think too much about it it ceases to make sense. Example. there is a pretender transformer, a transformer that pretends to be a person(aka a transformenator), but they never explain it. I had to look it up to figure it out because the movie either assumes you know what it is or that your not going to remember it.
The movie has two halves and stops to figure out where they have to go for the second half. This is after a fairly impresive threeway fight with optimus, starscream, and megatron so I assume they expect you to still be on the high from the fight when in reality you feel as if the moment is just lost.
Theres also way too much crude humor.
the good is limited to: Devestator(a transformer made of 5 transformers) who looks awesome but is on screen so little that it doesn't make it beter. Optimus in the last fight. Not going to spoil things but its pretty awesome. The aforementioned fight in the woods. Megatron and Starscream hanging out for the entire movie. and Jetfire.
So I give the movie a 2.1 out of 10 overal.
That said, if you have to see it, rent it when it comes out. I'll likely buy it on blu-ray just so I can watch those awesome fight scenes(If michael bay does one thing good, it's explosions, Honestly I much rather him be a director on action sequences than a number of other directors but everything else he's bad at). I can't blame Bay for some of the mistakes(those go to the writters) but I can blame him on alot of it, so Fuck you Michael Bay. Fuck you.
Transformers ROFLcopter
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