Broken bones, muscles, spirits, and wangs - its a review of Mortal Kombat 2011

Mortal Kombat is the best fighting game that has come out since the 16-bit days. I had more fun playing this game that I have had playing any other fighter that has come out. Let's start with the most obvious part. The characters. The roster here is nothing we haven't seen before(well, that's not true, there are two, but that'll be covered in the spoiler section) but the characters are all well designed. New takes on the old designs. The best bits are the costumes of characters before they become what we know them as. Particularly Cyrax and Sector. I can't praise this game without telling everyone that this game has a good story, a story that outshines every fighting game to date. Fully voice acted, this integrated combat will set the precedent for how all fighting game stories have to be connected. And as you progress you'll unlock stages, costumes, and characters. All of which sets you up for one hell of a local multiplayer experience. Though it is sometimes a bit trickier as you have to go into the Krypt and try and find some extras like costumes, fatalities and art. The Krypt is well animated, able to create scares and creepouts. Every character has access to four finishing moves: Two Fatalities, A babality, and a stage fatality. The variety and complexity of these moves are awesome. They are also gross and sick as you'd expect. The special moves are easy to perform, and often intuitive. Then after you have finished the story mode, there is the challenge tower which while providing unique challenges, it also pits you in some off story matches that could have easily fit in between chapters.
So that's the good, let's talk about the bad. For example, the worst part of the story mode is the broken boss battles. Boss Battles are not a test of strategy, but of luck and mini game timing. Bosses prevent blocking, hitting, and combos. I spent almost three hours trying to beat the final boss and every strategy I sought out(because eventually you just want it to be over) basically boiled down to spam a move, use a simple attack. And it still takes about 10 minutes, and a whole lot of luck. A few other problems exist, such as 1 on 2 matches, including a match that is 1 man versus 2 bosses. The inability to skip cut scenes is an issue. Particularly after you restart and it plays the previous cut scene, some of which are dreadfully long on second viewing. Also there is no option to restart a match mid fight, so in some instances where it is otherwise required to win the first round or have a certain amount of super bar(such as boss battles) this is a major time sink.
There are times when hit detection, combo breaking, fatalities, and special moves don't respond correctly and instead become a hindrance rather than an advantage. A personal issue for me is that this is yet another fighting game that focuses on juggling and combos over any amount of skill that can result in a novice player being juggled and completed hammered by a skilled player before even having a chance to hit said player.
And lastly, for a game that focuses on a tournament, there isn't a tournament mode....



+
Story mode
Variety
Local Multiplayer
The Krypt
Stages
Fatalities
Costumes and their relevancy
Challenge Tower


-
no restart.
No skip cut scene
No replay chapters.
Balance
Boss Battles are not a test of strategy, but of luck and mini game timing
Bosses prevent blocking, hitting, and combos
attacks not working consistently
Fatalities not being performed correctly.
Juggling still persists to exist.
Game relies too much on spam and juggling.
collision detection is awful.
Inconsistent recovery times and animation times.
Lack of proper counters
Glitchy controls.
No Tournament mode.


Spoilerssssssssss:

(1)Back in the day, Smoke was a ninja. And then he was captured and coverted for the cyber initiative. And he became Cyber Smoke. Here however, time has changed, and Smoke was not captured, but instead the second Sub Zero was. Leading to a wonderful conflict between Noob Saibot and Cyber Sub-Zero. Furthermore the ps3 version comes fully equipped with Kratos, the God of War.
(2)
Khan is one of those bosses that breaks the rules of the game. It is common for all of the bosses but it is in the final bout that you really see him hit the spam hammer. The lack of reaction makes him nearly impossible to beat without resorting to boring tactics. It is because of this that the game becomes almost unplayable at this juncture.
End of spoilerrrsssssss




All in all, the game is a B-. More of a try before you buy, because not everyone will like it. That said, you owe it to yourself to play through the story mode.
*I attempted to use MK online, however it only ever found 1 opponent and they backed out before the match began.

*There are a few attack spams possible and they are an issue that needs to be addressed and you can tell a difference between gamer types based on their answer to this problem. You can always tell the difference between the good players and the hardcore players. Hardcore players are the dumbasses who think adding more broken moves to the characters who aren't already broken will make the game better. the good players know that the solution is to take away the teleport moves.

Yo Ho Yo Ho, oh sorry didn't mean to call you a name - a review of POTC On Stranger Tides

Oh Pirates, you had a whole lot of promise once upon a time. And then you failed to edit movies. Instead, you sat and pretty much put word for word the script on screen. That wasn't really pretty. And while I do enjoy all three films, they were absolutely flawed in various ways. However, On Stranger Tides, while faulty, is the first of the film series since the original that really feels like it knows what it wants to be. And what it wants to be is the pirate equivilent of Indiana Jones and Star Wars. Gone are the nagging characters and the insane budget(one of which you can partially mourn for). Instead we have a cast full of characters you want to spend time with. Other than the spanish, who for some reason get no respect and no names and no screen time, the rest of these characters are set about on their course and developed into a team of characters who will go on to inhabit this world. And really, the plot here is kind of flimsy other than to create an atmosphere for which the characters can monkey about. This movie is a bridge between two different franchises. It fully links the previous trilogy of meh, and a potentially awesome future. The movie is a throw back to serials of the first half of the twentith century. Therefore you have to stick around to the end to see what's on the horizon. I am ready for a dozen more of these movies, released every other year. Why? Because these films, soon, will realize what they have to do. They have to become James Bond. What I mean is the day will come when we will have to let Johnny Depp go and let someone else pick up the mantle. But that is another day. Our new additions, BlackBeard and Angelica are wonderful new additions to the universe. Ian Mcshane is absolutely menacing in his role,and while he doesn't outshine Bill Nigh he does do a strong job to keep up with the often under appreciated Geoffry Rush. Penelope Cruz mostly just stands arond and is hot. Her only real action sequence is clearly a stunt double, never once even looking like she was in the scene. And lastly you have my favorite pair of characters, The Priest and The Mermaid. They are a perfect example of characters who DON'T need to return. I thought they were great and will often be forgotten, but in my mind they are the through line for this movie. I'm firmly hoping for a bunch of stand alone tales about various mystical objects. I'd love for the POTC version of Bermuda Triangle.

Okay, most of this is rambling, but the movie is very much worth your time and this film, is a B. It's a good time to be had.

Dylan Dog: Mediocre Detective - a review of Dylan Dog Dead of Night

Alright, I don't want to spend to long thinking about this film. You see, this is the kind of film where if you spend too much time thinking about it, it's a bad movie. It's genuinely got poor effects, poor sound, poor practical effects, poor kittens, and poor hot chicks.
So let's break this down. This movie is poor. Or rather, Cheap. This movie originally was going to have a big budget, but just before filming began they had that budget eviscerated. So suddenly what could have been a great summer opener became and indie film to be released when no one was looking. Hell, I saw an ad for this movie, and had a hard time finding it. In fact, the only reason I ended up seeing it was because I got sent Run Of Engagement passes and happen to be at the right place at the right time. And then, unsuprisingly there were four people in my theater: myself, an older gentlemen with a pad and paper, and a late twenties couple loudly making out.
I know all of this because this movie has a few parts that drag. You see, there are two performances that are at the very least entertaining to watch work their magic, and I'd love to see them go head to head in something calibrated to them. I'm talking about the awesome Taye Diggs, who plays a vampire that runs a vampire club, and Brandon Routh who plays our former detective, Dylan Dog. This movie is the classic detective story with a supernatural twist. I won't say horror, because it really doesn't feel like horror. It's a mystery(though not a thriller, a subgenre that often gets ignored) with elements of comedy mixed in. There are some genuinly interesting ideas here, and a handful that are actually pretty good in execution. But outside of Brandon and Taye the acting tops out at Hey, it's Jimmy Olsen, droping back down to "This is my emoting face. Can't you tell since it's my horny/angry/betraying/sad face." There was clearly some good visions here in concept, likely the source material, but in execution most of it falls flat. When it eventually reaches netflix, as these things do, it'll be worth your time to gander. Think of it like a direct to video movie or a scifi original movie. Not good by most standards, but sometimes if just ever so watchable.
Do I say go out of your way for this? Not really unless you are a hardcore fan of Brandon or Taye, which being both made this movie a worth my hour and fifty minutes.
The plot is really predictable, the music is very meh and the graphics are about on par with doctor who. But the perfect audience for this movie is 10-12 year olds who want something that is their kind of humour but not too complex or too scary or too adult. There is only one real pg-13 moment, but it's so brief that most 10-12 year olds will be watching worse on their programs.
I'd give the movie a D. It's not a failure, but it's never good.

The God Of Thunder Reigns Supreme - a review of Thor

In a world where movies never quite reach our expectations, where we are forced to sit through the trite, and the mundane, we find Thor. Thor is all about the acting. In every way we are talking about performances that are nuanced and varied in ways that the one two punch of talented director and talented actors fused together can bring to the table. Everyone makes the part but there are a handful of actors who jump leaps and bounds above the rest. In third place we have Sir Anthony Hopkins, whose role as Odin is quite pressing. His voice, his presence, even the looks he give feel the weight of Odin. He absolutely is the Allfather and in every way is playing the role he was born to play. But if Anthony Hopkins, a talent actor to play a character then Chris Hemsworth is Thor who happens to be an actor. You will believe a Thor can fly. Or something. He is both Charming and Arrogant. He is skilled in every way possible. And then, then, Then, There is Mr. Tom Hiddelson who completely became Loki. He is both vulnerable and vengeful. You will both relate and despise him. He is the pure embodiment of Mischief.
The plot uses the Iron Man origin formula, but has one advantage: Better third act. Here there is no down time, no moments where you go “really?”, everything happens and it works. Almost. The biggest weakness of this movie is that Thor’s turn to humility feels rushed. It’s not quite 100 percent. It’s about 90 percent there; it was just missing that last Omph to get it to 100 percent. This far outshines Iron Man 2, it offers much in the way of getting us to the Avengers, but that paving doesn’t feel like the point of the movie. Instead it feels like an extra moment of being ready. The film even ends on a note to set up future Thor sequels rather than marvel movies, though with a cameo by Jeremy Renner, you absolutely could set up more of the world.
Overall, this movie is a solid A. No ifs and ors about it, the absolute best Marvel movie to date, and by extension, the second greatest comic book movie to date.

Supernatural's Anime Dawn...Is it as good? - A review of Supernatural the Animation Eps 1 and 2

I am going to try and keep this as Laymen friendly as possible, but it'll be tough, so sorry if you can't keep up.
Interestingly enough the series might actually work for non-supernatural fans better. The show is rather based in mysteries and the animation keeps that up well. Give it a try for sure.
Now for fans, the first two episodes are adaptations of two classic Supernatural(SPN) episodes, Skinwalker and Road Kill. On first glance, both of these episodes seem a bit out of place. Certainly not the introductions we all were familiar with. But if you were to pick out the best ghost episode, would it not be Road Kill? It tells an incredibly somber and unique story within the context of supernatural. And Skinwalker of course plays on many fears that the brothers have and really establishes certain themes of the series early.

Both episodes, plot wise, are good half-hour adaptations of otherwise hour long stories. But it'll be a later post where I discuss the story and the choices therein regarding adaptations and episode selection(and should it come up, the strength of original stories). The animation is very pretty. They certainly keep up with the visual style of the show, while still taking advantage of the format. The major improvements we get is that limited view of the monsters are a style choice instead of a limitation of the budget and due to completely different standards of decency, the blood level is upped considerably.
I haven't had a chance to hear the Japanese voice actors, but i'll edit that in as an update later once I've had that chance. With that said, the american voice actors are mostly competent. There are two exceptions. One is Jared Padalicki who is at the same quality as his Live Action counter part. On the flip side Jensen Ackles voicing Dean comes off as cheesy and sounds wrong. Now the wrong portion is likely because over the course of six seasons his voice has changed and Jensen is now giving him a more youthful voice. After two episodes its starting to grow on me, but we'll see if that lasts. But it just feels a bit off. This is one of the grey areas I think non-spn fans will be able to look past because for what he is doing, Jensen is quite good.

My biggest complaint is I don't feel like I know that much about the brothers in the anime universe. I know that Dean is older and stayed with his father as Sam went off to college, but that's about it.

And finally, having seen what the third episode is, I must say, Home as episode three? That's...special. On the brightside, this means we will never ever have to see the anime version of Racist truck, Houses of Holy, or Bugs so we the fans, win.
I recommend this for fans, of course. But I'd even say that without being a fan of the original this show holds up and would rank a solid B and is certainly worth your time.

Son of Bowie doesn't hit it as far, but still scores - A review of Source Code

Son of Bowie, Duncan Jones, hits it out of the park again(though not quite as far). I will say, I'm a little disappointed it wasn't the sequel to Moon I was expecting. And it didn't sucker punch me with it's topic the way Moon did. in general, I'd say that that it was a success though it felt more mainstream and less brave than his previous effort.

This will remain a spoiler-free review but the basic premise is that Captain Colter Stevens is dropped into the body of another man and suddenly has to solve a crime, with only 8 minute bursts to figure out when a terrorist will attack again.

What does this movie rock? Storytelling. It its well paced and unfolds the story perfectly. The movie never does anything to telegraph things(except a few things that I could easily figure out just by setting, but my companion could not). The plot takes some really interesting turns, and overall never fails to put character and heart over plot and convenience.

The acting is incredibly solid and often is pretty impressive.

The flaws? Well there are some loose ends and the endgame scenario feels a little bit out of place from the rest of the movie. In fact, the last 2-3 minutes feels like it was shoehorned in,easily the weakest segment of the movie. So what can I say, this is a solid B.

The Prince of White Man:Sucking of Time - a review of Prince of Persia the Sands of Time

Whew, that is one long title ain't it?
Ugh, I sort of reviewed this one on facebook as I was watching it but it was so bad that I need to warn everyone I can about it. I know many people, myself included, were vaguely interested in this movie. In fact, my love of Prince of Persia games caused me to ignore the bad reviews and say, "hey, maybe this is one of those movies that get badly reviewed that I enjoy". I wasn't expecting greatness, just entertainment. I didn't get entertainment.

Of course, most of you are likely aware of the fact that we have a bunch of white actors playing Persia or various middle eastern originated characters. We've all complained, and race bending is an unfortunate practice we need to break. if nothing else let this be your warning sign that yes, this is in fact much worse. now the one bright side I can say is that because Jake is playing The Prince(who has a bs name which is unforgivable), they actually crafted a tolerable origin. They didn't risk anything trying to pass him off as Persia so I am thankful for that, but beyond that I can't give them much. However, we are supposed to believe that Alfred Molina and Sir Ben Kingsly are Persian. For comparison, according to the wikipedias, Ben is English, his father of African/Indian descent, his mother of Russian or German descendant. A very English man, who was even knighted. Alfred's mother was Italian, his father was Spanish, and he was raised in England. So Englishmen. and no, they (thankfully) don't try to fake Persian accents, though they do put a considerable makeup on them. And worse yet is all of their acting is mediocre for mediocre actors, meaning that for these two titans of acting, it was especially disappointing.

The story was...Okay? It loosely follows the plot of the first game, and even has a few elements that improve upon the story. So the two major improvements are A) the female lead and most of the actions she takes make sense. Her acting is bland and really disappointing, but on a script level she works well. The other big change is that the betrayal is done via a magical artifact. This is a pleasant surprise because in all other incarnations our first introduction to this being a world of magic are via the Dagger. This sets a precedent for this world being bigger and more magical and that goes a long way. But then there is the execution. Every action. Every Betrayal, every shift, every reveal, feels forced and telegraphed. If you don't foresee the uncle to be evil from the very second he starts talking then you aren't paying attention. All in all the plot felt like a rehash of some elements of the games plot minus the good stuff. I mean, why couldn't we see an army of sand monsters? and then there comes the real, real problem.
Dastan as he is known, rarely if ever pulls off any Prince moves. A little bit of scaling the wall with arrows at the beginning, and jumping along a collapsing room at the end and that's it. This movie didn't need a lot of be awesome in action. Some running up walls, some swinging, some climbing, and some intricate traps. And then some fighting. Too much to ask for some awesome action in my action movie? Apparently.

In all, I'd rather watch Live Free or Die Hard because at least it had entertaining action("you just killed a helicopter with a car!"). This? No. This needs to be avoided at all costs. The acting is wooden and fake, the plot is predictable and boring. This is an F. A complete and total failure.

Guest Review: Unknown in under a paragraph

Unknown

Guy wakes up and doesn't know who he is, stabs a guy in the neck, and everyone gets corn. The End.


This review brought to you by Lady Elara

Science fiction Love Story where the love comes first - a review of Never Let Me Go

Ah Childhood love. It was a growing trend last year in 2010. Okay, so two films really don't count as a trend but whatever. Now a man whose opinion I generally always agree with(DAMN YOU ABOUT SUCKER PUNCH), and who even when we disagree I still respect the opinion he establishes, called this his favorite movie of last year. And thus I HAD to buy it and watch it. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Is it the best movie of the year? That's arguable because I was and as I learned tuesday night, still am, in love with Scott Pilgrim vs The world. So let us start with what works because it far out weighs the little problems this movie had. The first and foremost is the fact that this is a science fiction movie about clones bred for the sole purpose of organ harvesting to keep people from dying who are raised to adulthood. They are done this so that they can still live a full life. It is this really fantastic premise. And I'm labeling this spoilers but I don't think it needs the spoiler tag because it's part of the synopsis. But here's the real kicked to the story, they don't dwell to much on this fact. It really is a coming of age story that happens to be about clones. Yes we get some fantastic story work done involving morality and humanity but that isn't what is at the core of this story. The core is the acting. Oh wow, is it ever amazing here. Andrew Garfield should have won an Oscar for his work here. He shows such a dynamic range of acting that I knew as soon as I watched it that this kid could not only pull off Peter Parker in the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man, but that he is going to go on to be a star. Keira Knightly delivers in her non-POTC skills where she is fantastic. But the heart, the soul, and really the real gem of this movie is Carey Mulligan. Your heart will break for some of the absolute real emotion she brings to the table. Fully dynamic, and an absolute delight to watch, she will defy your expectations. So the only real downfalls in this film is that the score doesn't do a whole lot and the plot is a little simplistic, never rising above the basic premise. But when you see this twisted three dimensional love story, you'll be swept away. I can completely and whole heartily say that this is an amazing movie that you owe it to yourself to see. This is an A.

Soulless War Movies Seek Characters inquire inside - a review of Battle Los Angeles

Straight up, I’m very meh about this movie. It didn’t grab me, didn’t distract me, and had me looking at my phone on a regular basis for what time it was and how long it’d take to get to a good action scene. The flaws in this movie are fairly glaring, not the least of which were the script. This script sucks, the dialogue is stilted and only made passable by some decent actors. But even good, some great, actors can’t save these characters. The main character played by Aaron Eckheart of The Dark Knight, gives a rather uninspired performance here. His character’s arc literally is at the beginning of the movie he is the stereotypical one week (or in this case, one day) from retirement cop(Marine) who gets pulled into one last case(war). And at the end he is gung ho to keep fighting. Which as far as bad clichés go, it’s not the worst, but it is never earned. And that is ultimately the problem here. None of these characters earn the end result of their stories and I never once cared that anyone died. In fact, I only cared when by the end a character DIDN’T die. And it made me cranky. The characters are all bland, two dimensional caricatures that belong in a Roland Emerich movie. And that isn’t a bad way to compare this. All you have here is big sequences that look cool but don’t amount to much. There are clearly some cool ideas going on with these aliens, but the story is so vague and unspecific about them that they come down to the role of Invaders! And we never get to know what they really want or why they are here or who any of them are. In a post District 9 world where we clearly can be told the motivations and desires of alien forces, we shouldn’t be forced to live with faceless enemies especially in a movie that clocks in at under two hours. In many ways this is the movie form of a game called Resistance: Fall of Man. Which takes a similar aesthetic to an alien invasion, but in that you get better characters and story, so I’d say go check that one out. There even is a fantastic moment of product placement for Resistance 2 on one of the billboards, so I’d say the creators knew it too. I can’t in good conscience recommend this movie, but I also can’t claim it to be good. It’ll likely go down in my mind as one of those films that failed spectacularly to live up its potential. So is this movie Black Hawk Down with Aliens? Yeah if you want to boil it down to that, but you have to foot note that there is not character here. None. So this is without a doubt, a D movie. Not worth your time, not a complete failure, but ultimately just a footnote towards some better set pieces to come.

Some of Them want to be used - A review of Sucker Punch

“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”
Okay so before I get into spoilers, here’s the thing. SEE THIS MOVIE. I can’t sing it enough praise, but if you do yourself one favor, see this movie. It is this year’s Scott Pilgrim and Kick Ass.
So
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
So the plot of this movie is some bad, traumatic events happen to this young girl. She is then wrongfully placed into an asylum and has five days to figure out how to get out or be lobotomized because her stepfather paid the right guy off. So what does she do? She supplants a fantasy world into her view and begins a cunning plan by some old man in her imagination.
Sounds weird right? Gets weirder. See in this fantasy world, whenever she dances she creates a new fantasy world where she(Baby Doll) and her allies form a team of ass kicking women and fight in various fantasy realities including an alternate World War II, a horde of Orcs sieging a castle with a dragon in its heart, and feudal Japan fused with modern day guns. It’s an amalgamation of everything awesome and as such it creates a wildly visual movie. Now there isn’t a whole lot to say plot wise going on here. There aren’t too many deep levels to it, frankly, and it’s ambiguous when it comes to the stuff you can analyze. It is in many ways the girl equivalent of 300 in that it is a group of five young women fighting for survival.
The acting ranges from fantastically emotive to kind of dull and predictable. The “villains” are fairly one note and don’t have a lot to offer to the plate. Only four of the characters have any development, and two of them are entwined by being Sisters. Baby Doll gets the most story out of this and her backstory visual montage is quite the spectacle. And yet, I can’t call this movie shallow. Yes, it is a bunch of girls in skimpy outfits being bad ass and gun toting and at time there is homoerotic subtext going on between them. But it is in every way about empowerment and improving the esteem of these young women.
The best parts are absolutely the visuals, but even more so is those visuals combind with an amazing soundtrack. Zach Snyder has a habit of releasing movies with killer soundtracks and this is no different. But what is different is that in a large handful of action scenes or scenes without dialogue you have music and their lyrics telling the story for you. So much so that I would call this a new genre of musical. It is in every way an action movie, but it follows so many tropes of a musical that it blows my mind away.
My biggest complaint is A) the third act isn’t as strong as the first two and feels kind of rushed. Sure, it is exactly what the film told us and telegraphed to us via the five items she has to collect in her fantasy world. And B) it wasn’t in 3D. I know, that sounds stupid but when you see this movie, it was clearly a film that could have gained from being in 3D rather than in simple 2D.
So in all, no the film isn’t perfect, but it is absolutely an A-. I might amend this on further viewings to be an A, but this is such a fun adventure that everyone really needs to see it. So get out there and do it now!

A Super Bowl Glee Half time Show - a review of Glee

So I just finished watching the super bowl Glee and the Valentine Glee so this will be in two chunks.

chunk A I loved, Chunk B I hated.

So the Super Bowl episode of glee was...A total tease, it sets up the idea of Glee going back to the days of old. Aka episode 1-13. Those first few episodes were a great series, but where the show has gone has been nothing but good. So when I say this episode is a tease, I mean that in the sense that the episode is good, the season sucks. Good character moments, good strong development that makes sense for characters. Characters who have no right being in the episode aren't present, an almost bittersweet end to a fun adventure. The only downside is the music was pretty terrible, who ever at the studio said "these kids won't know classic rock, why use it" were retarded and are teh same people who think we need a Justin Beiber song. Fuck. You. Fox.

And the other episode. Well, everything that the super bowl episode got wrong, this episode got worse. Everything SBGS got right,wrong. There wasn't a whole lot here that was right. It makes most of the characters downright unlikable, piss poor musical numbers. Music that doesn't even make sense.

This series has a problem where it wants to give the fans more of what they want. Except they don't get what they want and give them a bastardized version of it. Every inch of this show oozes with execs don't know what they are doing. Likely it is working something like this: Studio does polls, surveys and what nots(asking the wrong questions of course) and figure out roughly what some fans want. Then they look at their advertisers and who they want to reach. So they find a middle ground and tell the shows creative team here is what you should do. The creative team, being morally, creatively, and intelligently bankrupt think it's a great idea and in their heads they think it is a great way out of not knowing what to do.
The show reacts much like a show run by internet fan boys meet studio execs. It doesn't work out for anyone. So what we the audience get is a series of never ending reused storylines, (seriously, we get it, everyone is in a love triangle, square, or pentagon and it plays out exactly the way it's expected). The show likes to default to a handful of couples, I.E. Shue/Emma, Finn/Rachel, Finn/Quinn. And such any status changes are very clearly temporary and have no emotional weight. It's like someone saw Dawson's Creek. Saw the epic Joey/Dawson/Pacey Love triangle that was developed and played out over six seasons and said, you know what would be better? Doing it over the course of six episodes. And someone was like FUCK YEAH. And it all went to hell. So this series pretty much blows. In the first season they showed logic and reason behind each characters knowledge of songs, they weren't just random and they served purpose and feeling. Instead the show has become a shell of something that was once good. Much like Heroes, I hope they figure out how to tell a good story again before it all falls apart and they are canceled.


A note, unless I'm really angry(which I'm not) I usually try to avoid the F-bombs. Today I am sick and offer no inhibition about the quality. This show sucks and it really needs to fire it's entire writing team, hire a new team composed of Tehater people and Television writers(maybe some of the guys that used to work on Dawson's creek) and figure this out. Oh and if they give us that bullshit no one ever grows up nonsense where they are in high shcool for eight seasons I'm going to punch someone...

Because what would 2011 be without me giving you expectations I can't live up to

Because what would 2011 be without me giving you expectations I can't live up to.
I feel like this is a running joke, like I say I'll eventually cover YYZ and never get around to it. What can I say, I'm human. As I depart from a film or book or movie I'm less invested to care. So instead I vote that we continue the tradition of me mentioning things I want to review but don't get around to.
The Town
Never Let Me Go
Monsters
Epic Mickey for the Wii
Assassin's Creed(ps3)
Killzone 2(ps3)
Resistance(ps3)
FalloutNewVegas(ps3)
MetalGearSolid4(ps3)
BioShock(ps3)

Some of this I really will review, some of it I don't have any intent to. I guess that's up to you to decide what's what. The only thing in 2011 I am gurenteeing is that in September or November you will see the 2011 edition of the top 100 film list. And maybe like 50(?) ish percent more hookers this year. I like to keep it classy here.

And these are your 2011 oscar nominations for the year two thousand and Eleven

for each of these catagories I will be ranking the choices.


Actor in a Leading Role


3.* Javier Bardem in “Biutiful”
1.* Jeff Bridges in “True Grit”
5.* Jesse Eisenberg in “The Social Network”
2.* Colin Firth in “The King's Speech”
4.* James Franco in “127 Hours”


Actor in a Supporting Role


1.* Christian Bale in “The Fighter”
6.* John Hawkes in “Winter's Bone”
4.* Jeremy Renner in “The Town”
5.* Mark Ruffalo in “The Kids Are All Right”
3.* Geoffrey Rush in “The King's Speech”

Actress in a Leading Role


5.* Annette Bening in “The Kids Are All Right”
3.* Nicole Kidman in “Rabbit Hole”
4.* Jennifer Lawrence in “Winter's Bone”
1.* Natalie Portman in “Black Swan”
2.* Michelle Williams in “Blue Valentine”

Actress in a Supporting Role


4.* Amy Adams in “The Fighter”
3.* Helena Bonham Carter in “The King's Speech”
2.* Melissa Leo in “The Fighter”
1.* Hailee Steinfeld in “True Grit”
5.* Jacki Weaver in “Animal Kingdom”

Animated Feature Film


1.* “How to Train Your Dragon” Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois
No.* “The Illusionist” Sylvain Chomet
2.* “Toy Story 3” Lee Unkrich

Art Direction


4.* “Alice in Wonderland”
Production Design: Robert Stromberg; Set Decoration: Karen O'Hara
5.* “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1”
Production Design: Stuart Craig; Set Decoration: Stephenie McMillan
3.* “Inception”
Production Design: Guy Hendrix Dyas; Set Decoration: Larry Dias and Doug Mowat
1.* “The King's Speech”
Production Design: Eve Stewart; Set Decoration: Judy Farr
2.* “True Grit”
Production Design: Jess Gonchor; Set Decoration: Nancy Haigh

Cinematography


2.* “Black Swan” Matthew Libatique
3.* “Inception” Wally Pfister
4.* “The King's Speech” Danny Cohen
5.* “The Social Network” Jeff Cronenweth
1.* “True Grit” Roger Deakins

Costume Design


1.* “Alice in Wonderland” Colleen Atwood
4.* “I Am Love” Antonella Cannarozzi
3.* “The King's Speech” Jenny Beavan
5.* “The Tempest” Sandy Powell
2.* “True Grit” Mary Zophres

Directing


1.* “Black Swan” Darren Aronofsky
3.* “The Fighter” David O. Russell
5.* “The King's Speech” Tom Hooper
4.* “The Social Network” David Fincher
2.* “True Grit” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen

Documentary (Feature)


* “Exit through the Gift Shop” Banksy and Jaimie D'Cruz
* “Gasland” Josh Fox and Trish Adlesic
* “Inside Job” Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
* “Restrepo” Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger
* “Waste Land” Lucy Walker and Angus Aynsley

Documentary (Short Subject)


* “Killing in the Name” Nominees to be determined
* “Poster Girl” Nominees to be determined
* “Strangers No More” Karen Goodman and Kirk Simon
* “Sun Come Up” Jennifer Redfearn and Tim Metzger
* “The Warriors of Qiugang” Ruby Yang and Thomas Lennon

Film Editing


1.* “Black Swan” Andrew Weisblum
4.* “The Fighter” Pamela Martin
3.* “The King's Speech” Tariq Anwar
2.* “127 Hours” Jon Harris
5.* “The Social Network” Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter

Foreign Language Film


1.* “Biutiful” Mexico
2.* “Dogtooth” Greece
* “In a Better World” Denmark
* “Incendies” Canada
* “Outside the Law (Hors-la-loi)” Algeria

Makeup


2.* “Barney's Version” Adrien Morot
3.* “The Way Back” Edouard F. Henriques, Gregory Funk and Yolanda Toussieng
1.* “The Wolfman” Rick Baker and Dave Elsey

Music (Original Score)


3.* “How to Train Your Dragon” John Powell
4.* “Inception” Hans Zimmer
2.* “The King's Speech” Alexandre Desplat
5.* “127 Hours” A.R. Rahman
1.* “The Social Network” Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross

Music (Original Song)


* “Coming Home” from “Country Strong” Music and Lyric by Tom Douglas, Troy Verges and Hillary Lindsey
* “I See the Light” from “Tangled” Music by Alan Menken Lyric by Glenn Slater
* “If I Rise” from “127 Hours” Music by A.R. Rahman Lyric by Dido and Rollo Armstrong
* “We Belong Together” from “Toy Story 3" Music and Lyric by Randy Newman

Best Picture


2* “Black Swan” Mike Medavoy, Brian Oliver and Scott Franklin, Producers
3.* “The Fighter” David Hoberman, Todd Lieberman and Mark Wahlberg, Producers
6.* “Inception” Emma Thomas and Christopher Nolan, Producers
10.* “The Kids Are All Right” Gary Gilbert, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte and Celine Rattray, Producers
1.* “The King's Speech” Iain Canning, Emile Sherman and Gareth Unwin, Producers
7.* “127 Hours” Christian Colson, Danny Boyle and John Smithson, Producers
5.* “The Social Network” Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
8.* “Toy Story 3” Darla K. Anderson, Producer
4.* “True Grit” Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
9.* “Winter's Bone" Anne Rosellini and Alix Madigan-Yorkin, Producers

Short Film (Animated)


1.* “Day & Night” Teddy Newton
* “The Gruffalo” Jakob Schuh and Max Lang
* “Let's Pollute” Geefwee Boedoe
* “The Lost Thing” Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann
* “Madagascar, carnet de voyage (Madagascar, a Journey Diary)” Bastien Dubois

\Short Film (Live Action)


* “The Confession” Tanel Toom
* “The Crush” Michael Creagh
* “God of Love” Luke Matheny
* “Na Wewe” Ivan Goldschmidt
* “Wish 143” Ian Barnes and Samantha Waite

\Sound Editing


2.* “Inception” Richard King
3.* “Toy Story 3” Tom Myers and Michael Silvers
1.* “Tron: Legacy” Gwendolyn Yates Whittle and Addison Teague
4.* “True Grit” Skip Lievsay and Craig Berkey
5.* “Unstoppable” Mark P. Stoeckinger

Sound Mixing


1.* “Inception” Lora Hirschberg, Gary A. Rizzo and Ed Novick
3.* “The King's Speech” Paul Hamblin, Martin Jensen and John Midgley
5.* “Salt” Jeffrey J. Haboush, Greg P. Russell, Scott Millan and William Sarokin
2.* “The Social Network” Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick and Mark Weingarten
4.* “True Grit” Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter F. Kurland

A triumphant celebration of Humanity - a review of The King's Speech

As the days roll closer to and pass oscar season, you'll hear more about this film. It is a film that is going to be leading the charge and for good reason. The King's Speech is the story of the Duke of York, his rise to the status of King and dealing with his Speech impedement. This is one of those great experiences where you want to talk about it about the end of time and yet you don't want to spoil the experience for anyone else. Let's be frank though, I should likely qualify the experience I had so that I can give some kind of credence to calling myself a reviewer. The music is quite good. It has such poise and grace that it sets up the entire experience without trying. It is one of those great soundtracks where the first time you watch you might not notice it, but by the end of the second you will be in love. I know, that's a lot of hyperbole to say that it was great, but whatever. If you didn't get it by now this isn't a review so much as a love letter explaining why I love this movie. The acting is simply sublime. Colin Firth out does himself here and is quite moving and personable. Geofrey Rush does a great job here as well and really reminds us why he is so brilliant. And then there is Helena Carter who is the true gem here with her most understated performance, ever. I wasn't overly impressed by the directing but I can't say I was anywhere near disapointed by it either.
This is an absolute A. Easily one of the two best films of the year.

You know you're in good company with this cast - a review of The Company Men

It seems like I'm doing this more often lately, walking into movies blind based on a poster and a convienent time. I'm not complaining, I've just found it odd. So when you enter a movie like Company Men, you have certain expectations. By you, I of course mean me. But hey, I could be you. Ya neva' know. Comapny Men is a strange little event. It's good, don't get me wrong, but it was so quiet and so submerged by big ticket oscar winners like Social Network, King's Speech, and True Grit that no one really focused on it. For those of you who don't know, and frankly, why would you, this is a movie about our current economic hardship. It is about the second great recession and it is a fairly human and humbling experience. It follows, primarily, three men. Chris Cooper, Ben Afleck, and Tommy Lee Jones. The Majority of time is spent with Ben Afleck. Ben represents our everyman in this situation even though he isn't. He's a fairly well respected and high ranking employee so he is understanbly suprised when they let him go. He goes through the culture shock of not knowing what to do when you can't find a job. He is humbled by his experience. Next we have Tommy Lee Jones, now it is about an hour into the movie before both he and Chris Cooper loose their jobs. But once they do they each take a different path on figuring out what to do with their lives. Chris takes a darker path that i don't want to spoil. And Tommy takes a brighter path, using the events to empower himself. It is an uplifting movie about hope and about rising above your situation and not surendering to it. Then there is the supporting cast that just adds a great level of sub plots to the piece. Maria Bello, Craig T Nelson, and Kevin Costner all do their parts to match the bar set by our three leads. And really the acting here is what will keep you coming back. The story is fairly predictable and not at all unexpected response, a far better effort than Wall Street:we need more money, but it is this uninspired story that never allows it to leap above the pack. Further, the music doesn't stand out. So when your main draw is your actors, you've certainly got a fine piece. And in many ways this film succeeds for that matter, but in the same vein as the Expendables, it just doesn't go that extra mile to prove it's worth.
Overall this is a B experience. Certainly not a disapointment, just not as great as it could have been.

A good Actor can't fix this movie - a Mechanic Review

Have you ever walked into a movie 99 percent blind? Literally the only things I knew about this movie were that Jason Statham was in it and that I’d heard zero reviews or comments about it. And that it was an action movie. Having that information I had an interesting experience.
The Mechanic is your standard Jason Statham movie. He’s a hitman and he has a job he doesn’t want to do. Then some boohoo’s and then he picks up a teen sidekick played to perfection by Ben Foster. Now for the spoilers.
Yes Spoilers.
Turn back now.
Too Late.
So the first act consists of Jason killing a dude, meeting up with his friend who is one of the partners in a company that sends out hitmen. This friend is played by Donald Sutherland. Or as I call him Exposition Man. Because he really serves no purpose other than exposition and isn’t interesting until he’s dead.
Yeah he dies. See you know how I mentioned he was a partner in this operation? Well the other guy shows Statham some info that says he’s a traitor (News flash, he was lying) so Statham makes it look like a normal mugging. Now this set up scene is one of the two best moments in the whole movie.
Now Statham is all sad because he killed his friend. So he goes and visits his hooker friend and his alcoholic boat friend. They are Zero consequence. But then he goes to the cemetery and finds Donald’s son, played by Ben Foster. Ben is awesome as he often is, and plays this almost an asshat guy who is looking for revenge. So he goes out and tries to kill some carjackers(thinking his dad was murdered by carjackers) and Statham stops him and then quickly ends up taking him on as an apprentice hitman. It is at this point that Statham becomes completely unimportant and every character arc and development is put on Ben’s character. They do a couple jobs and eventually because of some Deus Ex Machina intervention from the writer, the plot moves to taking out the guy that betrayed Statham. As they get most of the way through the steps to find the guy, Ben discovers that his mentor killed his father. And so he starts plotting. He doesn’t take immediate vengeance. He builds it up. He plans. And in the meantime we as an audience get some delightfully delectable moments where Statham and Ben have awkward conversations. Leading up to some very heavy handed dialogue followed by what seems like a great scene at the time. We see Ben pump gas onto the car and into it, walk away and then fire a gun at the gas can. It is an explosion. Wheeeeeee. And it looks like Statham died. And had it ended there and this had all been about handing the torch off this would have been a GREAT film. But the good guy, aka the lead, had to win so we find out from security footage Statham rolled out of the car, and that he left some explosives on a car and actually blows Ben up thus negating any possible good moments. The real sad part about all of this is this could have been a really good drama had they put a capable actor who has some kind of depth of emotions in the part of Statham. It isn’t a perfect fix, but a different actor in that part would have solved some problems. The rest are just the clichés that bog down most action movies. This is the kind of movie where it throws around cool ideas but never fully executes them. Now when it comes to action, it is on par with say The Expendables and Machete. But the best parts, the soul has been frankensteined back into a shell that probably didn’t need it. I wish I could take this plot and build a good drama out of it. And I bet I could too. Oh and the title really doesn’t mean a lot. It’s a term mentioned once or twice as another name for a hitman but really feels forced like they needed to justify the title to a movie going audience who is deaf, dumb and blind. Unless you are Ben Foster the acting is mediocre at best. The directing is okay, but there are a few times, especially early, where the director isn’t clear with the editing to give us a sense of what is going on. And also it looks bad. Like the picture itself looks Last Airbender with 3D glasses bad. I don’t recommend watching this film, you know, ever. But if you have to, it does work as a pop corn flick and will get you through the hour and a half run time perfectly sound.
All in all, I think foreknowledge only really affects your expectations and not the film going experience as a whole. All in all, this film wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t good either. Grade is a C.

Coming Soon: The Weekly Release

Hey folks, I'm going to start doing a little write up on what I bought in a given week, at what price(or the price I am allowed to reveal), and my thoughts if it is something I haven't discussed.
This week I bought Buried and Bioshock for the PS3.
This Upcoming week I am buying Red and How to Train Your Dragon.


Often the movies will be a mix of new releases and older releases on sale.
Games will almost always be ps3 and will likely be older.
Graphic Novels will be from who knows where, but since I buy them off ebay it'll likely be a comment on the quality of the book. Also 99 times out of a hundred it'll be Hardcover.

Alright, I'll have reviews up at the end of the week for stuff and this week, baring weather and work, I have at least two different films I'm reviewing.

What genre is this movie? That's the real dilemma - a review of The Dilemma

Every so often I, on a whim, pay to see a movie I have never seen nor heard anything positive nor negative about. In fact, these excursions are often on the kind of projects that I have heard no buzz about. Occasionally I discover true gem's using this process. Occasionally I see crap like Awake, and spend the next twelve months warning people off the movie. Well congratulations, this isn't a warn people off it movie. But it wasn't a memorable film either. You see, I saw this movie some eight or nine days ago. And I had all intentions to write a review of the movie. But I forgot the movie existed. Hell I forgot I even saw it. That's not a good sign. But I do remember walking out of the theater thinking if the film had made a decision it would have been stronger. Instead the film was half comedy, half drama. And the drama elements were all better than the comedy elements. in fact the film told me flat out that Kevin James is an actor who flat out needs more work as a dramatic actor. He steals this show, almost as much as Chantum Tanning(name correction later). Chantum does a fantastic job playing an asshole. And as the opposite end of the spectrum you have Kevin James who knocks it out of the park as a best friend. And here's the thing about this movie, it is one hundred perfect feels real. These aren't caricatures, these are people. They have reasons and dreams and logic and it is really fantastic the way it works out. I would love to look at the script because the four leads(Winona, Jennifer, Kevin, and Vince) really feel like a tightknit group of friends and so when someone feels betrayed you really see it and really see the pain these people go through. There is also some really dark issues at work here, some underplayed, some overplayed. But Ron Howard works his directing magic and pulls out something that wants to be so much more. For every element that works, there are three to four things that feel, not nessisarily wrong but, almost off. There are elements that feel under utilized or like they went in the wrong direction. And again,this movie makes you feel like Kevin James isn't used to the best of his abilities. Now on Vince Vaughn, he is very Vince here. But he is the least Vince he's been in a movie since Jurassic Park:The Lost World. And it's one of those things where he and Kevin both fall under the Joss Whedon law of Comedy. "If you can do comedy, usually you can do the other thing". or as Smallville put it "German Philosophy is easy, Comedy is hard." This is a movie that isn't bad, but it isn't great. It is just shy of recomended. Finally Queen Latifa will scare the pants off you with talk about her "Lady Wood." It's creepy.

So should you avoid this movie? No. Should you hunt it down? Not really. Is it worth a rental? Certainly. Some people will love this movie, but like me, most will forget the movie ever existed. So I give it a C.

Don't be fooled by the trailer, the film is awesome - a review of Fighter

In every way the trailer doesn't depict this film well enough. This is a film that will defy your expectations with something a little more grounded than most boxing movies. Now of course this film is based on a little history, but unlike a few other based on history films, this one doesn't force you into needing to believe the unbelievable. This is a film that doesn't pull punches. This is the kind of movie you walk out of knowing that you just watched something special. I know I did. This is a movie about two men, brothers from a very large family. One Brother, Christian Bale, thinks he's on his comeback tour. Mark Wahlberg is just trying to do what he does. And this movie is about these two characters journeys. One spiraling out of control until his life explodes, the other on the rise to something greater. Our three leads, Mark, Christian, and Amy Adams, do wonderful jobs and they really show you things you don't see out of them, with a more sexual and adult Amy Adams than is typical typecast for her. The writing and the directing are both spot on. Where this movie really shines though is that its story doesn't ever shy away from the hard truthes. This is a movie about Drug addiction and about being torn between love and family and in many ways it deals with them in a very real manner. You can relate to the need to be honest and relate to the hard choices that you have to make in the name of family.
This movie is an A. This is an absolutely solid film and in every way deserving of your time.