Wednesday, June 30, 2010

He should have stayed in that ball of ice - a review of The Last Airbender

So quick summation of the movie's plot: The world is based of four elements and four nations(Fire, Earth, Water Air) and if you are a bender you can manipulate that element. There is this kid, named Ang(pronounced in this movie as Ong like in Ong Bak) and there is this prophecy about how this kid is the one kid in all of the nations that will balance the elements and use all four at once. So the kid freaks and runs away. He gets frozen in a block of ice and a hundred years pass. Captain America style, he is woken up from the ice by a Water Bender and her brother. The three then have to go on a quest to protect the world and stuff. And of course Ang never learned how to use the other elements so he now needs to do that so he can become the Avatar(the one who can bend all of the elements). This is actually a pretty good premise and is mired by its poor execution here. And as a note, I've never seen the show.


Main review:

Underwhelming. That is how I describe this movie. It is slow and every action sequence is dull. There is never any tension in this movie and I am never once under the belief that ANY character is in danger, be them friend or foe. Part of this makes sense. We have a team of goody-goodys fighting an evil empire. The goody-goodys should ever put their enemies in peril, just stop them. But the villains are never threatening. Other than something that happened in the past(that hundred year period) and even that could be chocked up to the previous Lord since he is obviously not 100+ years old. There is one time a character dies and it is a sacrifice but it isn't to hurt the bad guys or even protect the good guys. I won't spoil what it is, but its treated like a plot device and not an emotional moment. Worse is that the thing is used to stop isn't fully explored and instead just happens and then is gone. The one really cool moment and they breeze over it. And even worse is that this sacrifice isn't earned. There's no pathos to it, I never cared nor do I now care. There isn't a moment of mourning and the movie fails hard because of this. It is a result of characters that are wooden and flat.

I don't ever once in this movie believe the characters. I am always aware these are people being written because nothing they say sounds real. It sounds forced like they have to say this to get the plot to go where it needs to. And in some respects(so I'm told) the story is true to its origin(just condensed) but in many ways including numerous characters they've made huge changes. None of the characters show growth. They are, for the most part, exactly the same as they were when we first meet them. They don't learn lessons, they don't experience emotion or real hardships, things just happen and they are uninteresting when they do. These are characters that are one dimensional. And I am being generous with that description because with that because there is little to no development for these characters. They sort of have back stories, but the movie is in such a hurry to keep under its 95 minute run time that nothing can sit and happen. This was a quest movie. It needed to be two to three hours long. They needed to spend more time on action and needed to explain things and show more impact in the universe so that when a character bends and I am supposed to think this is really cool(so as to take the place of any actual action) I can buy into this lie that it is action and not just people staring.

Ultimately I wanted to go home and take a nap. And I fell asleep for about five minutes before my companion who was a fan of the show (but not this movie) woke me up because I was snoring. I kept hoping this film would pick up the pace and let the journey happen but it never did. It skipped over some obviously meaty portions. The movie is disjointed jumping from one episode to the next without showing the emotional impact of the adventure or letting it be obvious the wear the journey was having. I really wanted to care about the main character but the movie refused to let me, it felt like it was holding secrets back so that they could use them in the next movies but it is too much work and I don't care about him. None of the characters are treated well. The brother has a romance subplot for about ten minutes but it ends before you can embrace it. And that's his only subplot or character moment. The one main character who can't bend gets no development, shows no resentment for being so left out, no emotions at all. The movie falls apart because the only character with any back story and emotion is Prince (Danny) Zucko. Danny was exiled and now has to find the avatar to be able to be unexiled. Cool. They even have a flashback that explains his scaring and his exiling. This is awesome. The kid playing him over acts and chews scenery sometimes, but he is still the most developed character in the movie. There is a section in the middle after Ang is captured one of the times, and his actions seem to counteract his goals which is a pitfall of the movie because they never show the emotion for this to be believable. Lastly the girls in this movie are left under the heels of the men and this movie clearly doesn't know what to do with them other than bat eyelashes and run away. Its tasteless and despicable. Then there are the villians. They are all obviously mustache twirling I want to rule the world types and they are pretty stock and flat. There isn't reasoning behind their goals. There is never anything original about this movie except until we get the end and there is this really menecing little girl which was a nice moment, but an ending does not make a bad movie anything else. It is a clearly M Night type of ending. Even in Avatar. Logic and order do not exist in this world. Only pain and misery for the audience who have to sit through it so bored.

The effects in this movie are boring and uninspired. The water and fire often do look real but because of the manipulation going on it is obvious that they are CGI. They do their best, but it isn't enough to make me believe. This would be Avatar is not James Cameron's Avatar's special effects. The worst bit is the 3-D is dull and devoid of life. In fact, in quite a few scenes I took the glasses off because they didn't do anything. The film wanted to something more but the effects don't serve a purpose when it comes to the 3-D. And lastly M. Night's role in this movie. He directed, written and produced. And he tells you this twice. At the end His name is the one there. it is to remind you who to blame. He wrote this. The dialogue his stilted dialogue. In previous movies he could mask bad dialogue with great actors. And even then it came out strange, but better than nothing. His directing isn't terrible, but his structuring is. This movie doesn't even have The Happening's level of absurdity where I could rationalize it as intentional B-movie status. This film is just poor.

Overall this film is pretty underwhelming experience. I couldn't recommend it to anyone. That said it isn't a total failure. Certain characters like The Prince and his Uncle who is more of a father to him than his father are both interesting. some of the effects are cool and enjoyable. some of the pacing is just right. But in the context of the hour and a half length everything feels like filler. And again, the outline of the plot was strong. The film feels rushed and like it is a failed translation from one medium to another. and I kept thing "Man, this would make a great TV show."

Overall grade: D-

Monday, June 28, 2010

Letting Go of the Past and moving to the future - a Toy Story 3 reveiw

WARNING SPOILERS
WARNING
WARNING


Okay, with the warning out of the way. Let us start with the easy bit. What did I think? I loved it. but I recently talked to someone who didn't and it got me to thinking how do I explain, qualify my experience.

What works: The characterization. Woody has a fairly simple character arc. But it is done and explained simple enough for kids to understand, and complex enough that adults will look and find it genuine and believable. There is then the Jesse and Buzz Lightyear who have an interwoven storyarc. They have a very subtle love story and it works well for what takes place. The more overt story is that Buzz is brainwashed about halfway(maybe sooner) and in a very mechanical means. This is solved just as mechanically but with comedical side effects. Buzz takes some emotional turns and it is quite effective. This is one of the weak points where Jesse doesn't get a strong story arc here. Her's is much more downplayed which is strange because it isn't even as if this movie is being misogynistic. I point next to Ken and Barbie's story which is quite fun. It takes two very different characters who are surfacely shallow but as you get closer you see that both have secret undersides and aren't as shallow as they first appear. Barbie in particular is played as a strong willed female type. Lots-o-Hug Bear and the Baby also get developed as new characters and emotionally gripping backstories.

Next up is theme. This movies biggest theme is letting go and moving onto to new things. But it says it in a way that kids and adults can both understand and enjoy the message. It pitches that new areas of life are both scary and wondrous and that as you move on you don't have to forget about the past. It is filled with hope and treats change as a new adventure to learn but that ultimately it isn't as scary as they might be. And this is a lesson that both the toys and Andy will learn.

The voice acting work is fantastic here. All of the actors really show some depth, and even cameos like Timothy Dalton managed to show off their skills here.

This is of course a Pixar movie, and so writing, directing, and visuals are all top notch. There is some paticularly amazing work visually in the opening sequence and the short film that preceeds our story.

Without a doubt this film is strong, perhaps the strongest of the year(but that remains to be seen). I would like the world to enjoy this film.

Friday, June 25, 2010

It's not just the letter of the team, its the grade too - A review of A-Team 2010

Knockdown dragout that reminds us why movies like Diehard are classics.
I would consider this nowhere near as good as Diehard of course, but it does fall into the same category of great Action/Comedy. The movie is Funny and Actiony. Skip some of the more recent action movies, like Knight and Day and watch A-Team, it is worth your time.

The movie starts with Liam Neeson proving that he is really a bad ass. The movie proceeds to continue and instead of leaving it there, it slowly introduces us to the formation of the team AND gives us one of the most interesting action segments of the movie. They show us Hannibal(Liam's character), B.A., Face, and Murdock. Having never seen the television series on which it is based, I felt that I was sufficiently introduces to these characters in the first 10 minutes than I was to any of the characters in a number of recent releases. There are some very Qui Gon Jinn moments for Hannibal but ultimately his character is almost posed as the main character being the first character we are introduced to and being the team leader. You then have B.A. who is shown to be a former thug but wants to reform from his old lifestyle. They then collide and are both shown to be Army Rangers. This is a recurring plot point in this intro that brings them together. They go off to rescue Face who has gotten himself caught during an espionage mission gone awry because of his standard of wooing women everywhere. Lastly after rescuing Face, we meet Murdock, the ace pilot. He acts quite crazy and has the weakest of the introductions until you get him in a helicopter and right after you see him pull a move off that has the audience ask themselves "Can you do that with a helicopter?" you hear him proclaim "did you see that? I didn't even know I could do that." and it is at this point you start to see how this team is pulling together.

That's roughly the first five minutes. A big long action sequence. But the movie tells you what you are watching and this allows you to prepare for it. It never pretends to be something it is not, and on occasion will prove itself smarter than you. The main plot deals with the intro of the series(They were betrayed for a crime they didn't commit) and the plot sounds similar to the plot of the losers. But nevermind that since I don't usually talk about plot. The additional action sequences aren't nearly as thrilling as the first, but they do keep you entertained, and the finale is quite fun. If ever there was a problem with them it is that they don't throw you nearly enough curve balls. There is one paticular action sequence where you get to hear the line "They are trying to Fly the tank." and it doesn't come across as corny. That's impressive.

this movie has one major flaw, and that is that I am expected to take Jessica Biel seriously throughout. She has very little acting ability and while it isn't necessary in a film like this to have a lot, enough to convince me you are the role is required. She never does. And for that movie, you fail. More so in a 30 second encounter between Face and some random French reporter, you get a more believable and consistent relationship than you do between Face and Biel in the entire movie. There is also a problem where they have an emotional court scene and a funeral intercut and the editing removes the impact of both.

In the middle of good and bad you have Patrick Wilson(Niteowl in Watchmen) who plays his role deliciously chewing up the scenery. He is of course chewing the scenery so there is some bad, but it is entertaining enough to be consider a good part of the movie.

The movie devotes a large amount of its running time to setting things up and having them work out just right, or if not JUST right, a little to the left. In fact, a large problem the movie has is that everything often feels like it works a little too well and isn't nearly spontaneous enough. But it does feel like it is doing a good job updating the story of these characters(as I have been educated by wikipedia about) for the year 2010.
All in all, I think the film does a great job of being an enjoyable film experience and will polarize people far less than most other adaptations.
That and you get an awesome TKO from B.A. towards the end that is quite the enjoyable cinematic experience.
Overall, if I had to rate this movie, I'd give it an A-.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

This movie is as bad as its titles pun - Knight And Day

Knight. And. Day. Knight and Day. KnightandDay. Seriously. Seriously? Seriously.
Studio, who thought this was a good idea? What person went Oh! we should change the title and a (so I'm told) great script into a meh script and a terrible title. The films original title was Wichita, an early locale of the film.

Okay so onto the movie itself. Let us start with what works shall we? Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise Tom Cruise. He is brilliant in this. This is partially the script, but the stuff that is clearly Cruise is good. It works. It's Tom on his way to a new point in his career.

So this movie is simple, its Tom Cruise playing Ethan Hunt, but crazy,except not. Or is he?! No he's not. the movie spends maybe five minutes trying to convince you this might be the case and then people start shooting at him and your like oh, he's not just a crazy guy going on the grid. Later you find out the film is Ethan Hunt is trying to protect this kid and this battery he made(yep, you read that right), but really the plot is Ethan Hunt and Cameron Diaz jet setting, he occasionally drugs her and changes her clothes while such in what might have been almost implied rape. The film works best when it doesn't take itself seriously, which is why it falls apart in the third act. and the second half of the first act. and some of the action sequences. You see there are really funny and smart lines like when Tom is taking Cameron out of a restaurant and trying to get anyone hurt so he holds her hostage. Yeah I know, convolution is the name of the game here. But just as he leaves he says something to the effect of "No body move, or I shoot myself then her!". And it is this hilarious moment. There is almost a moment in that same scene involving Riley Finn(or whatever the actor who played him on Buffy's name is) giving a thumbs up that is Awesome. Now onto why this movie fails horribly. It is clearly a Tom Cruise vehicle. The movie should have been about him. But it isn't. It is about Cameron Diaz's whiny character. She is a stupid blonde who we are supposed to believe builds cars(Ha!) from the opening sequence where she brings car parts in her carry on(yeah we totally believe you can bring large pieces of metal in a suitcase that big as a carry-on. Totally.) but it never does anything to make us BELIEVE this to be true. We see Cameron Diaz being this Damsel and then about 3/4 the way through the movie is like and now she thinks shes a bad ass(emphasis on thinks and the movie makes fun of her for it). But it all falls flat. And it doesn't ring true for the character and the change is so abrupt that he don't see the change. The next issue is that in the aforementioned drugging, often it is done durring what would have been the cool part of the action sequences but the writer couldn't think of anyway to keep the scenes going so he just ended them. Which is good, but instead of ending the scenes, he cuts you out of them with a deus Ex Machina. This should have been an amazing action/comedy. But because it skips the action scenes, it can't be an action movie. Because only half of the comedy works it doesn't stand up as a comedy. Because it isn't a romance movie and all the romance scenes seem more forced than Anakin and Padme, it doesn't work. This movie does not know what it wants to be and instead falls apart. There are some good things going on in it, and if you want to see Tom Cruise being awesome check it out.
But ultimately the point is that the film has a terrible ending(except one moment where you can see that there WAS something smart to this at some point.) The movie is polarizing. Trying to be action/comedy/romance. But at the same time trying to be a parody. SO I can't in good conscious give this movie more than a C+.

Oh and you may be wondering why I keep repeating things three times. Well it is because in film there is a rule of three for information. You hint, you show, you explain. This film just hits you with the same crappy jokes three times. And the joke wasn't even funny to begin with.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Ranking the Mosnters of Monsterpocalypse Intro

Here are the Destroyers:



T1:
Ultra Xaxor
Mega Mantacon
Ultra Mantacon
T2:
Mega Vorgax
ultra Gorghadra
Mega Gorghadra
Mega Mucustos
T3:
Ultra Mucustos
Ultra Vorgax
Ultra Rogzor

T4:
Mega Xaxor
Mega Rogzor
Ultra Zorog
Mega Zorog


Not included at the time of post "BiJ"

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

How a Destroyer player chooses his force - a monsterpocalypse article

How a Destroyer player chooses his force - a monsterpocalypse article


This article may feel redundant for some of you. For others of you it will blow your mind at how simple this is to do.


First off, Pick your monster. I am going to show to separate line ups using similar(in my mind) styles of play.**

Xaxor/Ultra Xaxor and Mantacon/Mega Mantacon


Let us start with what my choice of units would be for each and then I will explain why and how to go about choosing the units.

Mantacon:

Chomper x3
Explodohawk x3
Destructomite x3
Crawler x2
Spy Fly x4



Xaxor:

Explodohawk x4
Explodhawk Shadow x1***
Destructomite x3
Crawler x3
Explodmite x3

As you can see, the two lists focus on similar themes, now lets explain what went into these numbers.

Mantacon: the Whys...
With Mega Mantacon, I always, Always, always want to include chompers. They are your easy access to play mistake heaven. now this can be either poor positioning, poor dice rolls, or anything but if they are siting next to a chomper, you move next to the chomper with lighting attack and feeding frenzy do 4 points of damage(and then run away with Hit and Run). Also chompers grant energy cycle which allows you to conserve dice, which in the mega form is needed since you'll be using A-dice to snacrafice*.

The spy flys are of course there because with swarm, even shooty-less swarm, they are the cheapest way to secure a power base. My motto with mantacon is dice conservation. Taking repeated monster turns is the name of the game here.

The remaining units are support. Explodohawks are the universal cheese machine. With a better brawl stat than some monsters, Explodohawks are fantastic at scaring your opponent into thinking twice about moving near one without killing it. They are an easy diversion.

Crawlers and destructomites serve the same purpose. They are their to drop your opponents defense down as low as you can get it. While an obvious strategy for any monster, with lightning attack and dice conservation you are looking at reducing the number of dice you need to throw on turn one, to perform the combo again on turn two.

The synergy here is to get Mantacon to do maximum damage each turn. If necessary use explodohawks for damage.



Xaxor:

This should be pretty obvious if you read the article last week.
Explodohawks are for doing damage. Charge gives them an extra boost dice. therefore the plan is to charge and hit the enemy monster whenever possible.

This also synergizes with Xaxor who is a ranged/power fighter.
Xaxor doesn't have access to the free movement from the Spy fly so using it becomes less optimal.
Xaxor then uses crawlers and Destructomites to secure buildings to build up power, and weaken anyone who dares try to get close. Secondary, is that you can then try and set it up so that you throw your opponent near your power base once it is no longer optimal to gain p-die, and thus giving you a late game home field advantage.
The explodomites use a combination of the two strategies. They work to build the power base, but also threaten(in a team capacity) to hit the enemy monster that gets too close.


So the idea behind building a good force is synergy. I locate key abilities that I feel are best supported by units. So on Xaxor I pinpointed the blue charge ability and used that to my advantage. With mantacon I focused on Lightning Attack. The idea, I find, is that if you pick an Alpha/Hyper form pair that synergizes, you are more likely to synergize with your units.
And with so many abilities that monsters gain or lose when changing hyper forms, you need to focus on the abilities that remain constant when you are building a list.
overall I say this should be your goal. When building a unit force, they need to emphasize your monsters specialties. The unit, and the alpha, and the hyper should all synergize together.


Building choices are harder. Often this will come down to what works best with what you have access to. My building suggestions are going to be slightly less.

First off, since you are a destroyer, you will often want to destroy buildings. Therefore their abilities are less important. There are however a few key abilities to focus in on and make sure to have access to.


Superstructure- gives extra power die for destroyers destroying it.

Insurance: gaining extra power dice for the destruction of buildings is a great advantage.

Spire/blazing inferno/chemical spill: You deal extra damage.

The Imperial State building. This is a high defense, 3 P-die power up building. And it catches fire.

High Occupancy: Avoid fielding buildings with this ability because the number of nature monsters is on the rise, and Destroyers have none.

Shuffle: this is THE ability that can make or break a second turn of unit/monster because of the extra die.

*a term coined by a fellow player who seems focused on food and sheep puns, I.E. Bleep Back on a giant Sheep monster.
**note, If their is clamor for it, I shall also post on the other 16(1 ultra and hyper for each of the 9 monsters).
*** The one random extra ShadowHawk is for when you need to lure an opponent closer to a certain spot on the map, lest he take damage.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The 'Hawk Rush - a monsterpocalypse strategy

Destroyer Strategy...


The 'Hawk Rush

This one is fairly straight forward and relies on your monster having an alternate way to gain power dice. For the purposes of this topic I am going to focus on the currently released monsters(so no BiJ).
The basic idea is to not secure a powerbase and instead focus on using explodohawks to attack the enemy monster.



Vorgax: While I disagree with using this strategy with the morpher, but for that quick jab, you can set up your morphers to help set up a first turn power base.
I am not going to talk about them though because my morpher strategies are completely different.


Xaxor: This is what I am talking about, specifically that he has super stomp. Quick easy way to gain some power dice.

Manatcon: No easy way other than punching buildings to gain P-Dice. Thus, despite being my favorite destroyer, I will not use him in this discussion.

Rogzor: Disintegrate lets him do the same thing as mantacon, but for the same reason I won't talk about them individually, but instead at the end of the article I will talk about that idea.


Mucustos: Just punches buildings.

Zorog: Same.

Gorghadra: Super Rampage. Huzzah! the time of British oppression is over!


To summarize I will be talking about Gorghadra and Xaxor.


The Strategy: the way this plan works is to be using your unit turn to send explodohawks at your opponents monster.
The best plan is that turn one, spawn and move 5 hawks. Then on your second unit turn, respawn any explodohawks that were destroyed, move any towards the monster, and use remaining dice to spawn support units I.E. Crawlers, Destructomite, Chompers, Spy Fly(if you are a Swarm),Razor Beetle.

What you do if you have a 'hawk in range is send that hawk straight at their monster and use six A-die. Use six A-dice. Six. Six Six Six. The number of the beast. Six. Why? Even if you have their defense at 4 you could still be looking at average rolls(.5 + .5 + .5 + .5+ .5 +.5 + .67 + .67 +.67+(,67 if you are play Xaxor)**.
You then use the remaining three A-die anyway you can. You really should use them because with this strategy unless you really have a good idea for dealing that second turn of damage, you should take a monster turn instead of a second unit turn.

The monster portion:
Turn one, gain P-dice via alternative means. Turn 2: deal ranged damage. Turn 3: Deal super damage.

Back up unit plan: this is for those pesky 7 defense monsters. If you can't do consistently average rolls to hit their defense which average is likely to be around 4-5 strikes, I suggest wrecking their power base. Aim for the buildings they build up. Hit their power nodes. and worse case scenario, just sit a unit next to their base on your unit turn before their monster turn.


Monster specifics: This strategy works best with Xaxor because of Charge, low hyper cost for easy flexing and the awesome 5/7, 7/5 health defense switch.

Why I disagree with monsters that can just punch a building with this plan? Because they can at most gain 5 P-Die from it. A good super stomp should net you 6-10 P-die. A good Super rampage, 6-10.
That is why.

Overall:


You may find it strange that this plan focuses mainly on unit damage, this is because monsters can reliably do damage. They have access to power dice, they have abilities that grant extra damage, ect. ect.. What you really need to do is get those extra bumps so that assuming you are evenly matched with your opponent, you are getting that small extra 1 damage to take a lead.
I say this because most games I have played(sans one or two players) and most games I have seen, players tend to be evenly matched.

Also, a lot of these strategies are fairly basic and apply for many scenarios. You would be surprised how different two areas can be. I traveled 100 miles within the same state and found in one area power base denial was a completely casual strategy, and in the other it was unheard of and won me many a early tournaments.




If you enjoyed this article, have other opinions, or want to yell at me and say this will never work(it does as I will often use this tactic when playing as Xaxor) let me know!.

hopefully next week I will have a different tactica for the masses.

**An A-die has a .5 chance of failure, and a B-die has a .33333333333--- chance of failure.